Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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