What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
