And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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