we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
