So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
