You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
