This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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