I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize