he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
