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• (586): View more from Michigan

  In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude i fell asleep inside of her

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  thats awesome

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• (721): View more from

  That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  omg, i know.

  (721): View more from

  we're too high.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.

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• (714): View more from California

  I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.

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