we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
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he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.