Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits

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(707): I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits http://tfl.nu/21ol

Replies (24) Good night (1846) Bad night (1048)
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(646): View more from New York

So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."

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(646): So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit." http://tfl.nu/5gls

Replies (31) Good night (1081) Bad night (4807)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.

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(610): NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS. http://tfl.nu/4d7u

Replies (17) Good night (679) Bad night (3047)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.

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(413): she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman. http://tfl.nu/lb9r

Replies (19) Good night (1127) Bad night (4482)
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(630): View more from Illinois

but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.

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(630): but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/k5cc

Replies (17) Good night (494) Bad night (4771)
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(607): View more from New York

Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned

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(607): Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned http://tfl.nu/r5xe

Replies (6) Good night (935) Bad night (4813)
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(513): View more from Ohio

You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.

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(513): You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm. http://tfl.nu/60sn

Replies (10) Good night (4440) Bad night (892)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time

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(270): There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time http://tfl.nu/e9de

Replies (12) Good night (873) Bad night (5956)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.

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(434): Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night. http://tfl.nu/fru6

Replies (17) Good night (670) Bad night (1147)
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(585): View more from New York

javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks

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(585): javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks http://tfl.nu/0lfa

Replies (7) Good night (1147) Bad night (1144)
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(269): View more from Michigan

We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.

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(269): We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him. http://tfl.nu/ojms

Replies (0) Good night (844) Bad night (428)
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(585): View more from New York

It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.

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(585): It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate. http://tfl.nu/p0j4

Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (540)
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(407): View more from Florida

If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces

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(407): If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces http://tfl.nu/di36

Replies (3) Good night (239) Bad night (387)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.

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(641): I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3u6a

Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (396)
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(972): View more from Texas

I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent

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(972): I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent http://tfl.nu/4hg2

Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (280)

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