Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is