Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.