It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize