So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
