All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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