But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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