The maid of honor just puked.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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