Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I need moral support for this bender
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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