There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
