you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
