You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
