I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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