OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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