idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize