I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
