"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
