can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
