My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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