We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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