I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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