I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
