Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
