just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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