No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
