i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
