I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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