I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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