Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
