Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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