Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
