yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
