awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
not ubering you a puppy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
