Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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