Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it penis luge time yet?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
