Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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