you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
