We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
