Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
