The maid of honor just puked.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
