dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
