Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
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S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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