so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You took a bar mat shot.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
