new low.... made out with someone while peeing
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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