I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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