I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
