I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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