just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
