A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Randomize
