I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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