we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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