Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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