I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
