Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
