some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
