we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
