No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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