i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
