Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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