Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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